Today this article reflects my feelings.
Hayfever is a bitch today. My head feels stuffed and my nose itches. That is just one negative aspect of my day. Yet I try to be positive.
I have so much work to do! I know everyone does. But I do think work seems more overbearing these days. As you get tangled more in work, everything else loses out. The hoovering gets overlooked, bills might get missed (namely I forgot to pay my recycling bin bill and so they didn’t come to collect all my garden waste) and I get so tired that I fall asleep while catching up with paperwork in the evenings. It is just a cycle of irritating events. Work followed by work followed by tiredness.
Going back to the garden – it is overgrowing fast. Why do weeds always grow so vigorously during months when I am too busy to do anything about them? At least if I keep them shorter than the fence, people will not see them and might stay under the illusion that I can actually manage my unruly back yard. Business leads to messiness. The wild jungle that is my garden does seem to reflect the chaos in my own daily dalliances. Perhaps time spent gardening, on the other hand, might help remedy my stress. Anyway, stress does seem to be running my life right now.
Yet I somehow try and stay positive. I am still going to make myself go spinning tomorrow and keep myself fit despite the fact that I know it will make me ache on Thursday and struggle to get out of bed in the morning.
It is easy to confuse stress with depression and I am quite certain that if I was less busy I would be less depressed about everything. I am usually a positive person but when work takes over, the fun aspects of life go away, hide and sometimes seem as if they might never return. Of course, I know that they should and hopefully quite soon.
I look forward to my new book being published in the Autumn, to cycle rides through the Fens in the summer, to eating and drinking and resting, and to opportunities to catch up on the many TV series that I love to watch to take my mind off things. Counting down the days to the summer holidays is the only way to get through. I know they say ‘don’t wish time away,’ but I want it to rush past and then stand still for a little bit. I live for the holidays, the weekends and those marvellous moments when friends make me laugh, relatives make me smile, money is not an issue and I can read quietly without feeling the need to do some work.