Date Wait

A snippet from one of my ‘SHORT DATES’ stories.

I was particularly nervous. My hands were sweating profusely. It felt as though my heart were about to burst out from my body. I took another quick glance into the mirror and it crossed my mind that my hair might well be showing signs of receding. Moments like this were probably the main cause. After all, I was always putting myself in these situations again and again; setting myself up for a fall every time. Something quietly assured me that this time could be different. I sprayed a last desperate drop of hair spray gel onto my short brown hair and rammed my wallet into my pocket. The night had started in a timely manner but I had no idea what twists would lay in wait for me this time.

Thinking about my last few dates, one was with a married woman who wanted to play the role of cougar and the other was with a girl who was so obsessed with her ex that she spent the majority of the evening talking about and showing me pictures of this ‘probably very pleased with himself’ guy. He was well rid of her. She was an absolute nightmare. Of course they all had their downfalls and I just seemed to keep on attracting this type. I took a deep breath as I got into the taxi. Texting her to let her know I was on my way, I also spotted a text from my ex. Deleted. I had forgotten to delete and block her until now.

My painful love life did have moments of happiness though. It was just unfortunate that while I was having a great time with each girl, she was coming up with a way to either control me or humiliate me. One of them even made a pass at my big brother. Another girl became a jealous stalker. She was crazy about the fact that I had friends who were women. One day she was discovered lurking in the toilets at work, where she even began a row with a colleague who she was convinced I had been having an affair with. Oh well. Tonight needed to be different. It was going to be my last attempt.

If you want to read more, have a look at my short stories collection, ‘SHORT DATES.’

Love Island Still?

After a week, is it hitting the spot?

Curious about why Nial decided to leave the island today, veiled in a mysterious exit which is simply accredited to personal issues? Wondering why Adam is so arrogant? Bothered about the bitchiness surrounding our newest housemates?

I have to say, when Adam pointed out that nobody in the house was actually in a relationship, I could see his point. However, the girls have started to portray him as a jerk. He is looking for island love, just like the title suggests. Why would anyone settle down and become lifelong partners with the first person they are coupled up with?

I do not have long to write a big post tonight but I would like to say that so far Love Island is not that addictive this year. Fingers crossed, some encapsulating new characters will bring in some entertainment and have some real chemistry.

What are your thoughts or comments on Love Island?

Staying Stable

Coping Mechanisms Are Developed Through Exploration and Independence.

A lot of people talk about mental health as being an issue but I think of it as something different. It is really a discussion about us and our minds. It is about our everyday life, our dealing with other humans, the things that impact upon our moods and our ability to look after ourselves. In other words, some people are more dependent on other humans to keep their minds balanced and this can be massively impacted upon by the behaviours of those who surround them and their everyday lives.

For example, if you are a people person and you thrive off of being around people, then you are moved to remote Northern Scotland and are suddenly working on a salmon farm with nobody for company, your mental health will suffer. If, however, you enjoy your own company and have good coping mechanisms, then this sort of job will seem ideal to you and mentally it will be better for you than working in a busy factory. On a different note, if the people around you are negative or not particularly interactive with you, you may feel lonely even in a busy place, and this may cause you some depression.

I suppose some of your ability to cope with everyday life comes from your upbringing. In my experience and when reflecting on my own growing up, I realise that certain coping mechanisms come from being encouraged to be independent. Fighting your own battles is a skill in itself and if parents do not allow young people to learn how to cope with difficult situations, they can easily grow up to be quite fragile emotionally and socially. I know of parents who always step into situations which could easily be resolved by their kids, but instead prevent the children from having to find ways of dealing with conflicts; often conflicts which they have instigated in the first place.

For me, if I was in any kind of trouble, I would feel comfortable talking to my mum about it and she would make me reflect upon it and consider ways forward. I would then make a choice and deal with it to the best of my ability. I found that this made me stronger and better at making life decisions as well as dealing with everyday awkward situations. Even simple things such as walking to school helped to teach me how to cope with traffic, keep my wits about me and feel better about myself mentally.

Mental coping strategies are partly taught and partly developed through opportunities to explore, retaliate, argue, take risks and be independent. More independence when growing up saves a lot of clingy separation issues later on in life and can help to make adult life more liveable.

This is just my opinion but what are your thoughts?